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Oot on Deliveries

09 December 2013

Here’s one. I was delivering to Gleneagles hotel one day (woooo). I don’t know if you’ve ever been there but it’s a classically grand sort of place, not dead ostentatious or anything, not as fancy as you would think but just displaying a laid back grandeur, secure of its position in the world. The back door, where you take the deliveries, is just like a working like kind of an area, people running around. There doesn’t seem to be any particular heavy security thing going, like you might expect from a prestigious establishment catering for the rich,famous, international world leaders and that, (aright,aright we get it) It just seems to be run by these fast moving, ready swearing, capable kind of lads. Get your goods in dump them down and get out. I’ve been there before. Listen, I’m not the worlds best delivery driver and I’m possibly the worst. This time I’m in there with the cases, drop them down, get my line signed and I’m on my way out but there’s a glass topped door in the way. I’d never noticed it before and it’s shut, like a swing double door job and it’s, locked shut. I can’t see how to open it. I looked up gormlessly at this baldy boy in reg workies coat behind a window and he looks fiercely back and points and mouths at a button back the way a bit. I spin round in my panic and see some couple of button like things. There’s one that looks like a clowns nose. I’m not pressing that. So I pressed the other vaguely familiar looking button rapidly and turn. It crunched a bit. I didn’t think much of it at the time. The door opened. I heard this piercing sound like a fork lift reversing bell or similar. I jump in the van and I’m away . After a bit I thought, was that a fire alarm?

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